What are you willing to go through to reach your goals?

What do you do when life throws you curveballs?

You may set yourself a dream goal, something big and wonderfully exciting… and then all of a sudden the universe sends you a bunch of challenging hurdles. (thanks Big U!)

Maybe it sends you one of those clients that you really need to work hard to convince, or it sends you a giant bill you weren’t expecting, or it brings a illness that keeps you bedridden for days. It sends you all of these things when you’re thinking about how you want something you love.

This topic is explored in the book “The Subtle Art Of Not Giving A F*ck” by Mark Manson.  He talks about this on his podcasts as the “shit sandwich.” (Yes, fair warning – there will be swearing in this post.)

To bring you up to speed, a “shit sandwich” is where you start out with some delicious bread, there is some challenge shit in the middle, and then you get some more amazing bread at the end.

Which translates to where you are now with your big beautiful goal, the curveballs from the universe in the middle, and reaching your desired goal at the end.

My Shit Sandwich Story

As you may or may not know, I am training to become a commercial helicopter pilot to travel all the way around the world. No woman has done it from east to west and I think that’s a bit dumb.  So I think I should do it. To do that, I have to sit eight exams – eight mega exams.  I’m on my sixth exam, so I’m nearly there.

But last week I took a theory exam, and I failed.

I failed!!

I’m not somebody who takes to failure very well. I was always really good at school and so I just expect to do really well. So when I failed by 4% (which is actually just one question) it was pretty epic for me, I had all sorts of stuff coming up in my chest. I even considered if this was something I should be doing…

We all have those moments.  It was only a few seconds of questioning myself.

“Am I supposed to do this?  Is this what I really want to do? Maybe the universe is sending me a message.”

You know, the usual negative stuff that goes on in your head.

Then, I thought, “Ah ok, that sucks. But I can re-sit it in two weeks time.”

That’s the cool thing about a pilot’s course – you get three tries at it because it’s such an epic exam.  So I can re-sit it in two weeks time.

Then I rang my mum to have a little conversation, a little debrief about how it went. And it turns out my sister had been rushed to the hospital.

And then at the same time that I finished my exam, I checked on all myonline tribes. I love my tribe and I always check on them. I have three tribes – I’ve got my Mastermind, my Club, and my Hub.  A couple of my tribes were having a really hard time and I really wanted to have a conversation with them. So I was hit again.

And when I checked my Facebook page, a person who’s been harassing me online was on there carrying on.

This was all getting a bit ridiculous!

I can laugh about it now, but for that day I was in Pity Party-ville.

There were tears.  There were tantrums. It was one of those moments when all you can think of is how everything is just poo.

It’s the challenge part in the shit sandwich, but when you’re in the middle of it, it feels like just poo and you can’t see the delicious bread on either side.

So at the end of that day I say thinking, “This is just ridiculous! I had like, Wham! Wham! Wham! Wham! All at the same time.”

Then I just sat with it for a second and felt the feelings. I knew it was an upper limit thing.  Every time something amazing is about to happen, some kinda shit sandwich starts to happen where you want to get to the other side of the shit sandwich, but you’re not willing to take the shit in the middle.

You want to make the most amount of money possible but you don’t want to pay any tax.
You want to see all of the people in the world but you don’t want to be seen.
You want to have the most amazing relationship in your life but you don’t want to have the conversations.

The bottom line is – what kind of “shit sandwich” are you willing to eat to get to your goals?  

What will you endure to reach your goals?

I really wanted to connect with my sister. (Note – she’s all well so please don’t worry. It’s all good.) I wanted to connect with my tribe. I wanted to be able to look after everybody. To do that I just had to deal with the poo in the middle to get to the gold at the end.

Of course, I really want to continue with flying helicopters. But in that moment, I had to truly let go of the idea and let go of the outcome of going for the helicopter license and think about what it would look like if I let that go.  I realised I could just let it go for now and then in two weeks, I could sit the exam again. But I have to be willing to go through the failures to get to the success.

I really want to share the message of being human at the same time as being the best practitioner you can be. To do that, I need to be visible. The shit in the middle that goes with being visible means that occasionally you’re going to run into people who aren’t very nice. That has nothing to do with me, it has to do with them. I have to be able to take responsibility to go and get some legals, get everything all sorted, and have that out of the way. But I have to be willing to.

I have to be willing to go through the challenges to understand, prepare and realise the success part.

Just keep going

So for you, if you are going through a shitstorm, just keep going.

Recognise that it’s just a challenge phase and that the good stuff is on the other side.

You might be worried because you have a shit sandwich job that’s not your dream or passion. But at the moment you’ve got to get through there because something has to fund your dream and your passion.  Something has to support the dreams and the goals that you have.

It might be something like a relationship in your life, maybe a family member or your partner, that you really want to take to the next level but it’s feeling all icky and weird. But you’re not willing to have the conversation to fix it.

What challenges are you willing to take on to get to your dreams?

As I think these things over and mull over it, I always bring it back to nature. I mean, we’re all natural therapists and nature shows up for us all the time and we just ignore it. So I was sitting there looking at the clouds and I realised we can’t have rainbows without the rain.

So how much rain are we willing to put up with to get the rainbow? 

Whatever is challenging you today, it’s totally okay. Just know that something amazing is around the corner. Just be curious about how far you are willing to go to get to the other side of that shit sandwich.

I’m not sharing this stuff to have a big pity party; I want to show that I go through the same as every other human. I go through ups and downs and then I come out the other side.  I’m lucky now because my downs are much shorter these days.

What I’m inviting you to do is, if you are in it right now, know that you’re not alone – it happens to everybody.

If you are trying to build something bigger than you, it will come more frequently because it’s through that stuff that the gold comes out on the other side.

It’s through those challenges that you learn to grow and be strong and be resilient.

It’s through those moments where the learning truly is.

It’s okay. You’re going to get through it, and I promise there is something better on the other side.

Hopefully, this has been beneficial and someone here needs to hear this. If you know somebody who also needs to hear this, please share it.

Hugs,

Tammy x