Mindset For Success: Perspective and Facts vs Stories

What is Mindset?

If I ask for a 1 to 10 rating of how you feel today, with 1 being “could have stayed in bed” and 10 being “feeling amazing and excited about the day!” – what would you say?

I can guarantee that the responses from any group would range every number from 1 to 10. This is a fascinating thing about the way that we perceive the world. Some days it feels like a 10 out of 10. Other days it actually IS a ten out of ten but we feel like a six.

And none of these things are right or wrong. They’re just our perspective.

That is mindset.

Mindset is what determines how we see the world and is a foundational thing that can make the biggest difference in your life and in your business.  And mindset is also what can trip us up over and over again.

So let’s dive a bit deeper into mindset for success and look closer at how we can show up in the world for our business and our practice, particularly in the online world.

The Impact Of Mindset On Day To Day Business

Have you ever felt like this?

Feeling down and like you don’t want to get out of bed happens to all of us.

And when you work in the online world, it can happen purely from an email coming through, from an angry response on your social media, or some other random thing.

The thing is, if this is happening consistently for you, it’s going to change the way you show up for everything.

When you’re trying to share your offerings online, whether it’s a:

• online consultation
• membership
• eCourse
• workshops
• webinars
• or something else

Showing up in a cranky, frustrated way is going to impact your results.  It’s difficult to convey the benefits of your offerings when you’re in an unhelpful mood like this.

I love this quote from William Shakespeare which sums it up perfectly for us:

“There is nothing either good or bad but thinking makes it so.” 
~ William Shakespeare, Hamlet, Act II, Scene ii

This is the case for anything we’re considering in our practice and in life, really.

An Example of Perspective

When I first started my practice, I used to pack my calendar full with consultations on Thursday – 7:00 am to 7:00 pm. At first, it worked perfectly. I was filling out the days easily and it was going well.

But then started to feel burnout.  And from then on, Wednesday nights I  would absolutely dread that booked-out next day with up to 14 consultations on the schedule.

Every possible thing I could worry about weighed on my mind. I remember sitting in the back car park of my clinic just before I had to open the doors on a Thursday morning, literally hoping that I would have a cancellation so I could have a morning tea. Or an afternoon tea or a break.

The fascinating part is that so many people right now would consider having a booked-out Thursday as a wonderful thing! Having 14 back-to-back clients would just amazing!

And when I started my practice, I totally thought the same thing. I wanted to be completely booked out. But it’s a whole different thing after you live through it.

It’s All About Perspective

Now, nothing is actually good or bad about having 14 back-to-back clients. It’s the way that we FEEL about it and the way that we THINK about it that makes it good or bad.

When I first starting practising, that booked out day made me feel like, “Yippeee!” But when I was in burnout, my perception of it really changed.  My perception of it is what changed, not the actual day of 14 back-to-back appointments. 

There are so many different perceptions a person can have that might make things appear good or bad to them.

And the thing about all of this is we humans have a tendency to mix up the facts about what happens with the stories we create out of our perception of what happens.

So, when you consider moving and transforming your practice online, there are facts around things like:

• getting booked
• trialling out new technology
• creating a new arm of your practice

The problem isn’t those facts. It’s our perceptions about them and the stories we create in our heads.

Facts vs. Stories

So, if I said you need to go create an eCourse right now, what would happen?

I’d likely get a variety of replies like this:

• Yes, I want to do that.
• Yep, okay.
• Love!
• Oh my gosh, don’t tell me to get on a video.
• I wouldn’t know where to start.
• That sounds great, but what am I going to do?
• I’m not quite ready.
• Maybe?

I just said, “Let’s all go out and make an eCourse”.  The fact here is that I just said eight words. The story that we all make up around it depends on the filters we see the world through.

The same thing will happen for you. There will be a story in your head:

• When’s that due?
• I don’t think I have enough time.
• Yes! That would be the most amazing thing in the world.
• I don’t know enough.
• Let’s get started.

You see, the story will stand in your way much more than the fact will.

What stands in our way when we’re trying to create something new or do something different is that we’re listening to the stories in our heads. Or the stories of other people’s experiences, rather than the actual facts.

So when you’re considering a change in your business or your practice, consider that some of the things you think are holding you back might actually be stories rather than facts.

For example, you might think things like:

• but it can’t be done
• I couldn’t possibly do that
• that’s not how I usually do business

See, when you recognise the stories you are telling yourself are not facts, you can focus on what you CAN do instead of what you can’t.

Brules

You may notice that some of your stories are hard and fast. They are quite stuck. But others might be a little bit more flexible. They might give you a little bit of space to move closer to finding out the facts.

Brules are rubbish rules that we’ve bought into that are guiding our behaviours. And if we can change the brules, we can change some of the behaviours they are inspiring.

Some example brules are:

• I’ll never make any money
• Mine will probably be the one-in-five businesses that don’t make it
• I’m just going to do it for the love of it

Those are baloney rules. They aren’t necessarily true, but because we hear so many stories that support them that we believe them to be true.

Look, I know so many practitioners who are doing extraordinarily well. They’re seeing clients, pivoting online, creating passive income streams. And they are supporting themselves, their families, their lifestyles, and paying their mortgages.  All the things that we all dream of doing with our business. They’re thriving.

But we don’t always hear those stories. We hear negative stories much more often. The ones that say we’re not likely to make it. And every time we do, it reinforces that stupid brule in our head that’s holding us back.

Identify Your Brules and Stories

The first step to loosening up and eventually getting rid of those ‘brules’ is to know what they are. So take a few minutes and sit down to make a list.

Think of the things you know you should be working on but aren’t. It might be pivoting online, creating an eCourse, setting up a membership site, or something else. Whatever it is, write down all the reasons you haven’t taken action. Is it because:

• I don’t know how to set it up
• nobody will pay for that
• I don’t have enough information yet
• other people are already doing it
• whatever else comes up for you

Write it ALL down. Every single reason you can think of why it wouldn’t work for you or you can’t start right now.

Then start examining those reasons. Are they facts? Or are they stories you are telling yourself?

Just writing out the stories you are telling yourself can sometimes loosen a few of those stories up and help you start to move forward.

Make sure to keep your list and come back for the next article on Mindset for Success. I’ll be talking about how to identify the Hindering Frames you may be putting around those brules and how to reframe them into Helpful Frames.