I want to have a conversation with you all about what happens when you come up against your biggest fear, and how to deal with fear when you are running a business.
What are fears anyway?
When it comes to being an entrepreneur or practitioner, leaning on some of our woo-woo or on our science, what is your biggest fear?
And what does fear look like to in your business as well?
The thing is, I reckon we won’t have too many people joining in on this conversation because it’s a scary thing to talk about and deal with your fears. But the cool thing is, as soon as you identify them, as soon as you look into the darkness and bring some light to it, it doesn’t have the power anymore.
In our minds, there is a scary monster in the corner. We make it up in our head that it’s big and scary and it’s going to kill us or maim us. We think we’re going to die from it and part of ourselves is going to go with it when that big scary monster in the corner gets us.
The thing is that when we have a big fear and a big monster in the back of our minds about what could happen in our life, or with our business, guess what happens? We make it up in our heads, it sits over in the corner, and we don’t shine any light on it. And then it has all the power in the world.
When in actual fact it’s probably there to help us, just like the big blue monster from Monsters, Inc who seems big and scary, but actually cares for the little girl instead.
What are our biggest fears in business?
I’m going to share some of these with you because I know many people will click into this, freak out, and not want to share or deal with their fears and jump right back out of the conversation.
Some of the biggest fears we face are:
Imposter syndrome
What if I get found out that I don’t know shit-all?
Even though we’ve got qualifications up the wazoo, plus so much experience, and we’re possibly even known internationally; we all have these moments of, “what if I get found out that I don’t know anything?”
Even though we have all of the evidence in the world to show that we do!
Fear of failure
What happens if our business fails?
Even though we don’t know what failure even looks like.
Often when I question people on this one, they can’t describe what failure is going to look like. But fear of failure brings up all of this wonderful, extraordinary stuff in the background as well.
Who else has a fear of failure? I’ve had plenty of those!
I’m actually in the middle of a launch right now. I have a total fear of failure! But I lean in and show up for everybody I’m here to show up and serve for. I do it anyway.
Fear of success
What about the fear of success? What does it look like for you?
What if you get burnt out again?
If you’re successful and don’t have time for your family?
All of these amazing things bubble up in the back of our brains where we’re experiencing so much fear. And the fascinating thing about these fears is that when we don’t talk about them, they twist the way that we show up in the world.
Just like in Monsters, Inc., if Boo is scared of the monster in the background, she’s going to come to any conversation fearful. And everything is going to come out really differently depending on whether or not she feels held back by or shines the light on that monster.
Our brains can do such amazing things for us, can’t they? And then they do the other stuff as well.
How To Deal With Fear
So what’s your biggest fear when it comes to:
- building your business?
- living your ideal lifestyle?
- charging more?
If you are brave enough to shine a light on this, to deal with fear that shows up for you, please share your answers in the comment section below, I would love that!
Because in naming it, claiming it, and seeing it for what it is, you’re then going to lift a veil of stuff that you’ve probably had hanging over you.
When I first started as a Naturopath, I was fearful that people would reject me because I asked for money in my practice. When I was fearful of that, it was like I had a veil of fear over me when I was going to ask for the money. And it came out in a really twisted kind of way.
Think of it like being on a date
If you’re on a date, you think, “Oh, my goodness, I shouldn’t have had the garlic for dinner! I shouldn’t have had the garlic for dinner, because my breath stinks. I’m fearful that he or she will smell my breath. And I’m fearful that my guts are just going to drop at any minute.”
When you show up on that date, you want to show your best. But you’ve got this thing going on here, and you kind of hiding your mouth, and you’re not talking quite right. You’re holding a bomb in because you just don’t want to drop anything out there.
All those fears literally change the way that you show up in the world!
Now, I know that was like a big exaggerated example. That’s not going to happen for everybody.
But that’s kind of what happens when your fears are hiding in the background. And you’re pretending that they’re not. You need to deal with fear to progress forward.
Stop pretending
Everybody in business is pretending on some level that they don’t have a fear of all of the things.
You’re pretending that you’re the expert, that you’ve got all your shit sorted. When in actual fact, we are all winging it. We are all shitting ourselves when we put ourselves out there, send out an email, or get up on stage in front of people.
We’re all creating a little monster in the back of our brains and holding back parts of ourselves due to fear.
So if you’ve got the guts, if you want to lean into the bravery and the courage of sharing your fear so that other people know they’re not alone – so YOU know you’re not alone – I highly encourage you to put one in the comment section.
Once you shine a light on it, you can then know you’re not alone, you then know that there is something that is there.
We Fear Because We Care
Now, the vast majority of the time fear is there, it’s because you care. You care what other people think and about the people that you’re trying to serve. You care.
So don’t ever take fear as something that is disempowering. Being fearful is hugely empowering when you see it for what it is – because you care.
You care when:
- you get up on stage that you’re going to screw it up.
- you’re giving a talk but you’re worried that you’re gonna fall over. Because you care about the message you’re going to give.
- it comes to getting your information out on social media or in other ways.
You care. That’s why fear comes up in the first place. But it’s how you deal with fear that matters.
Fear Amplifies When You Think It’s About You
When we think it’s about us, fear gets amplified. You feed it and it turns into this mega ego monster as well.
And so fear can get amplified when we think it’s about us. When we think the judgement is coming to us from somebody else. That is all coming back in here. Fear amplifies.
The cool thing about that big monster is that as soon as you turn it around and make it about the people that you’re serving, the people that you’re here to help, fear starts to diminish.
Just like running a race, if you stay in your own lane and serve the people you’re here to serve, your fear diminishes.
Managing Your Fear
- Shine a light on your fear and identify it.
- Remember that fear is useful and empowering because you care.
- Fear is amplified when you make it about you or you’re worried about other people’s judgements of you. Your ego (the monster’s ego), that Fear Monster, thrives on that stuff. But turn it around and be present to what you can actually give for somebody else rather than what you can get. And the whole thing diminishes and changes.
Other Examples of Fear that Show up for Entrepreneurs
I don’t have my stuff sorted
Here’s a great example. One of my mentees mentioned that she was worried about her business legals. She felt like her policies, legals, and procedures were holding her back. She didn’t have her stuff sorted.
This absolutely used to be me! Every year, I have a meeting with my lawyer. And I, of course, I leave that to the last minute. Of course, I leave that too long. And then I go into meeting with her.
Before a couple of years ago, I didn’t have any of that stuff in place. And I was scared all the time!
The beautiful thing was that because I made it all about me, and my fear monster grew, the universe heard the fear-monster and I got audited, I got all sorts of legal action taken so that in the end I could turn it around and be empowered by it, and care.
So if this is your fear, you’re not alone.
People seeing who I really am
Living under an assumed persona for so long that the real you has been lost.
I feel you on that one. I used to think that, too. And this is one of the biggest fears for a lot of people. You’re not alone.
But it just takes one thing. Feel the fear and do it anyway. Just do this one thing and show up as YOU. Do one big, truthful, vulnerable, and fecking scary thing.
It comes back around, and around, and around for people to see who we really are and still be accepted anyway. It’s a core fear to be human and then be shunned by our tribe.
So yeah, but what do we do? You feel the fear and show up anyway.
Not knowing enough
Please put your hand up and press the like button if you have fear of not knowing enough!
We are all extraordinary learners and healers. And as such, we are consistently wanting to know more, more, more. Part of that is feeling like we don’t know enough.
But the beautiful thing is that once we deal with that fear and show up for the person in front of us, show up for the person we’re here to serve. it changes the whole thing.
Being wrong
This one stops so many people from doing things, like appearing on social media. And the cool thing is, once you actually make a stuff-up (because you’re human and every human on the planet does something wrong) at some point in time, you will realise that you can still show up anyway.
But yeah, totally massive fear of being wrong.
Perfection (and procrastination)
Oh, yes, perfection, procrastination. I love it.
Don’t let this stop you from finishing things. Showing up on video, imposter syndrome has been really strong for me at times.
But how perfect is nature? It’s perfect in its imperfections.
You’re Not Alone
Now, I’m not trying to fix everybody’s fears. But I want you to all know that you’re not alone in your fears. And that there are ways out of it. When we feed the fear by making it all about us, instead of making it about everyone else, something can shift and change in it.
You all have just as much courage as you do fear. And you have every opportunity in any moment to step into the power of your courage and lean in, feel the fear, and do it anyway.
It’s a beautiful thing to be able to feel fear. It’s incredibly empowering because you actually care! And I really want you to get that it’s important as entrepreneurs, carers of family, friends, and decent humans, that you care. That’s what fear is there for. It’s going to impact you or the people around you.
It’s really important to know that on the flip side of that is courage. And you all have that inside you as well.
Take Action
So my beautiful takeaway from this is, where can you feel the fear identified?
Share your fear, and then turn it around. What could you do that’s courageous today and show up anyway, for the people you’re here to help?
So this is the thing; I have a massive fear of not being able to help 7000 natupreneurs.
What if I fail:
- in my mission to help 7000 natupreneurs?
- to change the paradigm of the way that we do business?
- at communicating the idea of competition versus collaboration and how we can all rise together?
You know I’ve got all of that going on. But here I am showing up anyway.
So please share your fear, and then share what courageous thing you’re going to be doing this week to step into what it looks like on the other side of that.
Because the fear is not going to disappear. So let’s deal with fear in a healthy way. This is the thing, right? We’re going to shine a light on it and embrace it.
That’s my suggestion for you today.
And if you’d like some support to take control of your fears so it doesn’t stop you in your tracks, take a look at my Mindset Magic bundle. It’s filled with trainings, resources, meditations, and more to help you uplevel your mindset so you can stay focused and on track.
Learn more about Mindset Magic here.
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