What I Learnt From Elizabeth Gilbert About Fear And Creativity

After NatEx last month (big shout out to all of our ‘Love Your Work’ peeps!) I went on an amazing retreat – the Ultimate Girls Week Away.

One of the best parts of the retreat was participating in a workshop with Elizabeth Gilbert as the main facilitator. I came away with a lot of insights about fear and creativity. So I’m sharing with you, my tribe, what I learnt from speaking with Elizabeth Gilbert and taking action inspired by some of the conversations she had up on stage.

Fluffing Myself Up

At the NatEx XFactor Awards Ceremony, Petrea King talked about “fluffing yourself up” and the importance of being the best you can be in yourself so that you can show up to whatever is in the room. So you can show up to difficult and challenging conversations with all yourself there at your optimum to hold space for whatever is needed in that moment.

Last year, after NatEx, I realised that I needed to do that for myself after running a big event like that. So this year, I took myself off to Fiji to fluff myself up. I was inspired at the same time by this amazing workshop run by Elizabeth Gilbert, the multi-award-winning author of Eat Pray Love, Big Magic, and most recently, City of Girls.

Giving Your Emotions And Ideas Sentience

Elizabeth Gilbert is an incredible author and one of her books (Big Magic) is one of my top 20 reading list for any entrepreneur or anyone who is in the creator mode or creator archetype. For some people, it is a little bit difficult to read, I know. But one of the things that she does beautifully well, and one of the things that she expanded on in the workshop, was about giving sentience to our emotions and our ideas.

Now, that sounds pretty weird and wacky as well. But what it is, is the notion that our:

• fears
• happiness
• enchantment
• ideas
• creativity

Are actually all types of muses.

And we can give them sentience, a personality, and create persons of them.

This isn’t a new idea, of course. It’s all throughout psychology, positive psychology, and some other things. But the way that she describes it from a creativity perspective is quite extraordinary.

Dancing With Ideas

In her book ‘Big Magic’, Elizabeth Gilbert talks about ideas coming to dance with us. They want to come and play. And when they want to come and play, they want our attention.

How amazing for an idea to come and want our attention and not somebody else’s!

But what you’ll notice is that they kind of hang out in groups.

Have you ever noticed how when you’ve had an idea, all of a sudden you see it everywhere? Everybody else seems to have the same idea?

And you feel like, “This can’t possibly be a new idea.” You might be thinking about creating something, but then all of a sudden, you feel like everybody else has already created that thing.

If You Don’t Dance, The Idea May Move On

When an idea comes to you and wants to dance with you, you can choose to dance with it for a while, play, take action on it, and create something extraordinary. Or if you ignore it because you are busy doing other things or you’ve got something else on and you shelve it, that idea has the opportunity to go and dance with somebody else.

But there is no limit to the ideas that will dance with you. They continue to come through, just not necessarily with the regularity that some of us might like. They come through and dance with you, in particular, so that you can add your flavour and your essence to that idea.

Now, I’d read this and it was just the most profound thing that I’d ever read. At the time, I was trying to create new ideas and come up with something that was very different. At that time, the whole “natupreneur movement” hadn’t been done before. People weren’t talking on a bigger scale about business and mindset in natural health. So I didn’t have anyone to look up to, to model these types of things off of.  Many of us feminine leaders didn’t have that model.

There are people starting to come through now such as Greta Thunberg and Malala. But there wasn’t a lot of that around when I was first starting up my business.

Think Of It Like This. . .

When an idea comes and dances with you, you have an opportunity to dance with it and see what happens rather than trying to make it perfect, holding on to the idea, keeping it away from anybody else, and twisting the idea. Which means it doesn’t actually come to fruition or it doesn’t play with the people that you’re there to bring it through for. I hope that’s a helpful interpretation.

So, not strangling your ideas, giving them sentience, playing, dancing, romanticising them, and then seeing what you can co-create together – you and the idea. That was a bit of an epiphany for me and it was one of the reasons that I went to see Elizabeth Gilbert’s workshop in Fiji.

Creating Sentience For Emotions

One of the but things that came through was her idea of creating sentience for emotions. And one of the big ones that she created was fear.

I talked about fear at the VIP day at NatEx and how fear can actually be your friend. There was a lot of crossover with what Petrea King talked about at the XFactor Awards as well.

Responding vs. Reacting To Fear

She talked about our fears and the way that we react to our fears versus the way that we respond to our fears. Often we can react or reactivate a feeling we had when we were children in our bodies based on that fear.

That fear might have been brought up because of some of the big Ds that Petrea talked about:

• Death
• Disfigurement
• Disability
• Depression

When we have a reaction like this, our bodies will go back to being a younger child and give us a feeling that we will react to quickly, un-thoughtfully, and un-presently. With the reaction that we probably had when we were children.

In the long term, that’s not going to be as beneficial as stopping and responding. Responding takes you into a place that you haven’t ever been before. It’s a new place. Whereas reacting takes you back to where you were when you were a child or the last time you felt that way because it’s stored within you. Whereas responding takes you on a different trajectory.

Boundaries of Certainty

What Elizabeth talked about was that fear will not let you do anything where the outcome isn’t certain. The thing about our past is that it’s certain. We have reasons to believe that this will be the same result as what happened before because we’ve seen it, so there is a certainty. Whereas a future that we haven’t been privy to yet isn’t certain. And our ability to respond takes us into a new place, a place that we haven’t been to yet.

I loved the merging of both Petrea’s discussion around reactivity and responding and the fear discussion with Elizabeth about not being able to be outside of our boundary of certain.

Conversations With Fear

To take that a step further, we started talking about fear.

The idea of what would happen if you came and sat at a table with you. If you were in yourself, with the ability to respond, all fluffed up and the most relaxed you can be.

Instead of fear being inside you, what would happen if those fears were sitting across the table from you?

And playing with that idea and the notion that fear is something that’s happened to you in the past or a reaction we’ve had to something that happened in the past.

Writing Letters To Yourself

One of the things that Elizabeth does daily is to write a letter from Fear to herself. She also writes one from love to herself, to kind of balance it out. Getting fear outside of us takes the reactivity away and we have the ability to respond.

So what are some of the biggest fears that you have around. . .

• your business and its success?
• life and what you hope to contribute and achieve?
• your health and well-being?

What if you consider some of those fears and actually gave them sentience as a person, in front of you in your mind’s eye? If fear was sitting in front of you, what would fear actually say you are afraid of?

If you are brave enough right now, I’d love to hear it in the comments.

Some of my biggest fears are around dying.

Because 2019 and 2020 have been epic years for taking lives. There has seemed to be so many in our community who died and so many affected by others passing over that it’s starting to be something a lot more prevalent in my world than it was before.

So I started to notice some of my fears.

If fear was sitting in front of me, it would say that I’m afraid of:

• not fulfilling my potential before I die
• flying a helicopter and having something like Kobe Bryant’s accident happen to me and my family
• not sharing my message with the world to create the impact that I’m making before I die
• losing my family, my tribe, my connections, my health

Then there are the fears around failing, of being out of money, of success and being alienated. I’m afraid of there not being enough time. There are so many universal fears.

Any of those fears of:

• failure
• not being able to make it
• being unable to make enough money
• being able to share your message before you pass
• not being on the right track
• can’t contribute to your family
• and possibly even a fear of death.

Of course, there are people with different fears, as well. But there seems to be a bit of a universal consciousness around similar fears. Part of being human means that these fears are always there.

Allow Fear To Express Itself

But what if we sit across the table from fear and allow it to express itself, just like we do with some of our clients? They sit across the table from us and they express. We don’t take that stuff on, we just let them express those fears. We let them express what’s happening. And we just be with them in that moment so that it can be aired. So that something else can come through, something new and different can come through.

Because until those things are expressed, something new and different doesn’t have the opportunity come through because it’s holding everything in there before it comes out.

Here are a few of the fears my listeners have shared:

• burnout
• work not being enough
• fucking up
• being a parent
• money running out
• letting loved ones down

None of us is by ourselves in these fears. Absolutely every single parent from the moment of conception, every mother I’ve spoken to, has had fears around being a parent. I absolutely have. These things are universal. They’re there all the time. But we don’t talk about them. We don’t let them be expressed, so they sit in the background.

This is what Elizabeth Gilbert was talking about. She had the privilege, the honour, and the challenge of being there when her partner Rayya passed last year from cancer. What she talked about was being in the room with fear and just being there, not fixing it, not changing it. Just letting it be there.

Letting Love Into The Room

So, what happens when fear is just heard and let to be there is that love comes into the room. We heard exactly the same thing from Petrea King when she was speaking at the XFactor Awards, as well.  What do you say in some of these moments?  The fears have a way of coming out and being heard. Petrea King talked about writing, screaming, speaking, and journalling. All of these ways in which fears come out. What happens when they are allowed to come out is that love gets to come into the room.

This is the thing. When we express these things through journalling, which is what we did with Elizabeth Gilbert, then we have the opportunity for love to come in. And what does love have to say?

Think of love, enchantment, and joy as a presence. All of those types of sensations are about being present – that was the distinction that was made. I feel it when I’m holding my son, my youngest son as he goes to sleep. I’m so present to love being in the room.

I’ve felt it sitting across the table from a client with a new diagnosis, who had somebody pass, has gone into remission, or has had a recovery. The presence in being there in that space. And I’ve had it in the smallest of moments, as well. When I’ve seen the sunrise in Bali and when I’ve ridden a scooter through the middle of the rain forest as the rain starts falling and there’s a tingle in the air. I’ve felt it when I was looking up at the stars on the beach in Vanuatu when we were giving back.

Creating Sentience For Enchantment

Elizabeth described these moments, that sensation, as ‘enchantment.’ Because it’s easy to say happy and it has such different connotations. Love can also have different connotations. But enchantment is that moment that you’re so present to that sensation.

If you’re thinking about these things right now, I’m inviting you to take a second to write it down right now.

When was the last time you felt enchantment?

What is something that comes to mind when you felt enchanted?

In that moment, when you were so present to whatever it was, however you would describe it – God, the universe, your higher self, in that moment.

How can you create that into a sentient being sitting across from you at the table?. Then if that sentient being of enchantment was to write you a letter, what would they write to you?

Fear will generally write, “I’m afraid of. . .”

But enchantment writes, “I love it when we . . .”

How To Invite Enchantment And Creativity

It’s an interesting, beautiful thing and I would totally invite you to do this.

Elizabeth does this every day in her journal with images and photographs. She uses a glue stick, stickers, and other bits and pieces. I love that creativity.

What you’ll notice is that once fear gets out of the way and enchantment comes in and love is in there, it sets up a really different perspective for the day. Since I’ve been doing this, a similar thing has been happening. Creativity flows. You start to notice because you paid attention.

Where Attention Goes, Energy Flows

I’m a big believer that where your attention goes, energy flows. So when you’re paying attention to enchantment, enchantment shows up. When you’re paying attention to creativity, creativity and ideas start popping up. If you’re paying attention to money and abundance, more of it shows up.

Enchantment writes, “I love when we have an amazing cup of tea in my special cup.”

This is from enchantment, sitting across from me.

I love it when we . . .

• have a full bath bomb in the bath
• are at the top of the mountain breathing in deep
• have one of those aha moment conversations with a mentee and it feels like a visceral moment and time stands still and everything is just meant to be
• are watching a sunrise or a sunset

Now some of these things may have an overarching theme for all of us, like nature. But many of the things that bring you enchantment are very unique to you.

For instance, I love it when I’m on the scooter with my son right next to me and we’re going down a hill and he has this huge smile on his face. All my cells feel totally alive! And I’m super excited to actually have wind going through my hair. It’s an amazing, amazing, enchanted feeling.

Where Do You Find Enchantment In Your Life?

So my invitation to you is, what do you notice about enchantment in your life?

When is the last time you felt enchantment?

And what would enchantment say to you if he or she was sitting across from you and describing to you what they wanted more of?

Enchantment brings you. . .

• more presence
• to the here, now
• seeing the magic that’s happening around you
• attention and focus on things that truly really matter at that moment

And it brings you a sense of presence and relaxation.

The Most Powerful Person In The Room

The last thing that I definitely took away from Elizabeth Gilbert, is from when she described the most powerful person in the room. She’s been in the room with Oprah Winfrey, with powerful, mind-changing people. She has been in rooms with politicians and some of the greatest and most successful people on the planet.

And she said,

“It isn’t the power of somebody’s will. It isn’t the power of their money. It isn’t the power of their fame. It isn’t the power of their success. The most powerful person in the room is the most relaxed person in the room.”

As Petrea King said, creating from a space where your nervous system is nourished and making decisions with what Petrea describes as,

“The ability to embrace every moment, regardless of its challenges with a quiet mind and an open heart.”

That’s the most powerful person in the room.

Take Action On Fear And Creativity

This is the thing, it’s all about taking the action. That’s what I teach in all my programs, it’s what we learn at the Natupreneur Experience. It’s all about taking the action.  If you actually take the action. Actually write the letter. If you do this, you will gain wisdom through the experience of it.

So I’m inviting you to write a letter from fear and then write a letter from enchantment.

I’m inviting you to consider, how can you:

• hear the fears but not buy into them?
• embrace the enchantment to be more present and nourish your nervous system so you can create whatever you are here to truly create in the world?
• create healing for yourself first and then healing for others?
• become a relaxed, most powerful person in the room for your business?

How can you do that:

• as a parent?
• as a family member?
• as part of your community?
• on a global scale with your interactions on social media or otherwise?

How can you harness those moments so that you can work from your best self  to be a benefit to everybody around you and create that ripple effect that we’re all continuing to look for?

Here are a few enchantments my listeners shared:

• whipping around Indonesia and back to their family feeling freedom and fullness
• the feeling in the morning when you walk down to the beach with your fur babies (there is definitely enchantment in fur babies. High-fives to all the fur baby mums out there!)
• admiring changes of the sand and rocks and debris after a storm

So there are my insights.

I invite you to really explore this. Have conversations around this. The more you have a conversation around this, the more actions will take place. Things start to change through the action and through conversation.

To recap, my three biggest takeaways about Fear and Creativity from both Elizabeth Gilbert and Petrea King were:

1. How to create sentience with ideas, play with them, dance with them, and not feel lack when they disappear.
2. How to create sentience for fear and enchantment and take the action of actually writing. Take time to actually write and connect with your fears and your enchantment.
3. How can you be the most relaxed person in the room and create that ripple effect that you’re here to create?

What Action Will You Take Today?

Experiencing this workshop with Elizabeth was really inspiring for me and I hope I’ve been able to share some of that inspiration with you. I’d love to know if you will take action on some of these things.  Will you write a letter to yourself from fear? From love? Will you try journalling? What ideas can you dance with today?

Come share your takeaways from this post in the Natupreneur Hub and let’s continue the conversation!